Memento Mori
by Eldewind Dolly
Summary: "Death is never late, but when it arrives earlier... what happens ?" In order to save one of his only friends, Artemis makes one of his biggest mistakes, and unintentionally introduce his friends to the most feared and mysterious of worlds : the world of the deads... Will his mind and the People's magic be able to save them, or will his untold guilt be stronger ? Set after TTP.
1. Prologue

_Hello everyone ! _  
_For those who don't know me, my name is Eldewind Dolly. I tell you now, I'm French and I'll have to translate each of my chapters from my native language to English before I can publish, so it'll probably be long breaks between each update, I apologize for that... I promise I'll do my best !_  
_This story is a re-writing of my first AF fanfiction, _L'Ordalie_, published long ago in a french fanfiction website, Fanfic-FR. I'm publishing the same re-write on this website, if you're interested to check the French version of the story (the first two chapters are already out !). _

_Please feel free to criticize, I'm open to any kind of remarks or suggestions, especially on my English, I hope this will help me to improve a lot in this beautiful language ! =)_

**_Disclaimer : I'm not Eoin Colfer and the Artemis Fowl universe and characters belong to him (so they don't belong to me, I think it's rather logical but you never know). Though Lagartija Nick is loosely based on a song by Bauhaus, it's my character and you don't play with him without my consentment (otherwise he bites !). I was also hugely inspired by the 2003 TV series 'Dead Like Me', created by Bryan Fuller, for the Inbetweens, though I still interpreted it a lot._**

_There we are, I think I said everything... I know it's a very short prologue, but enjoy your reading ! :)_

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**MEMENTO MORI**

**Prologue  
EXCERPT FROM ARTEMIS FOWL II'S DIARY, CRYPTED DISK**

Every thing has to die, a moment or another.

It has been so since the universe was created. To each living soul on this planet, is assigned a deadline. On your life's calendar, days pass, pages go on and on until the red-cross-marked box come. The calendar stops on the day you meet Death, even if it's not December 31st and nothing, not even - especially not - you, can prevent it.

Nevertheless, fate doesn't exist. The paths you choose to follow haven't been premedited by any kind of supreme power, and nobody is safe from an accident. Or a murder. That's why it occurs, sometimes, that certain persons die before they reach their deadline.

Death is never late, but when it arrives earlier... what happens ?

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_I already started translating the first chapter, I'll do my best so it'll came out soon ! For the moment I hope you like, feel free to review and point out any mistake or anything ! _


	2. Coup de foudre à Paris

_Hello everyone !  
I can't believe I made it this fast, but here's the first chapter ! It's quite long to compensate for the mini-prologue. Note : the title of the chapter is a play on words with a French expression I couldn't translate in English. If you translate literally the title of the chapter you got ''thunderbolt in Paris'', but the expression ''coup de foudre'' means having a crush on someone. You'll understand when you read the chapter ! ^^  
_**Disclaimer : I don't possess any personality-switching machine, so I'm still me, which still means not Eoin Colfer.  
**_Enjoy your reading ! _

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**Chapter 1 – Coup de foudre à Paris**

**TUILERIES GARDEN****, PARIS, FRANCE**

Though threatening black clouds had started to gather in the French capital's sky, the Tuileries garden was still awfully crowded, kids's laughters and clicking of cameras resounding along the gravelled alley, were Parisian walkers roamed calmly between the numerous tourists, who came here to photograph the fountains and the tree-lined paths of the geometrically-shaped garden before assaulting the Louvre Museum, which could be seen at the other end of this perfect and lovely example of the « à la française » style garden.

Artemis Fowl II, fearing the waiting might be long, had sat on one of the chairs made freely available to walkers, under the shade of a tree though the July sun hadn't eventually survived the grey clouds. Despite the dark tone of the sky, the summer heat was stifling, and Artemis regretted he hadn't traded his black Armani jacket at the hotel for a lighter one instead. He eventually decided to take his tie off, absent-mindedly looking at a couple of Japanese striking unlikely poses in front of the octogonal basin - yet not as improbable as their friend's, lying flat on the back in the dirt, having a hard time with the huge viewfinder of his brand new camera. Artemis rolled up the tie into a ball and tried to put it into his pocket, to no avail. Exasperated, he finally kept it in its hand, regretting Butler - whose latest whim was to force a minimum of pratical sense into his principal's head, one hell of a difficult task - hadn't taught him to properly fold a tie yet.

A little girl coming out of nowhere, dressed in pink and with ridiculous tiny brown pigtails on the top of her head, suddenly approached him, her ball under the arm, staring up at him with curiosity.

''_Bonjour monsieur_'', she said in French.

Artemis stared back with a big smile.

''_Bonjour mademoiselle_'', he answered with a perfect French accent.

The girl smiled back happily. Artemis didn't turn his eyes away, the same smiling expression frozen up on his face. The little girl's smile slowly melted like snow in the sun, and she grew pale. Her bottom lip started to tremble and she ran away squealing, dropping her Winnie-the-Pooh ball which bounced down the gravelled alley. The little girl's parents were assaulted by a fury in tears, and when they started looking for "the evil vampire with scary eyes and sharp teeth that want to eat me'', they saw nothing but a sixteen-year-old teenager with a wrinkled tie in his hand and a satisfied expression upon his pale face.

Artemis paid a look at his watch and his smile vanished. Brought back to reality, he bit his lip, a flash of guilt in his look. Suddenly, the Winnie-the-Pooh ball dropped an exclamation of pain after it bounced on what seemed to be empty space. Artemis took a deep breath before turning his head, composing in half a second a cheerful and innocent mask.

''Good afternoon Holly.''  
''Hello, Artemis" answered the ball, now floating sixty centimeters above the ground. ''How you doin' ?''  
''For how long have you been here ?'' the young man asked, eluding his friend's question. ''Oh, and by the way, you must be aware it's not a custom for tourists to see a teenager talking to a flying Winnie-the-Pooh ball.''  
''I've just arrived'', said Major Holly Short after dropping the ball, which went bouncing down the alley towards new adventures. ''I had to wait for a magma flow for about twenty minutes, sorry I'm late. But are you sure you're okay ? You seem a little... preoccupied.''

Artemis stood up dusting his sleeve, taking advantage of this insignificant move to look away. It became harder and harder to hide anything from Holly. Usually, it didn't disturb him that much, now he had decided to stop using the elf's trust and friendship to manipulate her since their little time travel together. But right now, he wished she didn't know him that well.

''Yes, yes, I'm fine'', he answered evasively. ''I... I received a letter this morning, at the hotel, which got me a little... upset. But nothing important.''

It was only a half-lie, but Artemis felt Holly wasn't pretty much convinced, so he quickly asked :

" What was it that the _so_ great and _so_ brilliant Foaly found himself unable to manage, forced_ once again _to admit my obvious superiority and require my help ?''

A thud, evoking a low quality record of a duck who would have been clubbed on the head, came out of nowhere, appearing to be the centaur shouting insults through Holly's helmet. Fortunately, there wasn't any tourist or walker close by, otherwise they would have certainly wondered about Artemis's sanity, as the young man seemed to emit weird quackings punctuated by moans of pain while showing a sinister face, as he fingered something in his pocket.

''Holly, why aren't you telling our dear friend it would maybe be wiser to explain the situation to me instead of making me look like an insane ventriloquist in front of a good thousand human tourists ?'' he eventually whispered rolling his eyes.

Foaly was indeed a scientific genius, but his lack of maturity often brought the centaur to behave in a really childish way. As he heard a resounding ''ponk'' near his feet and the duck quackings suddenly stopped, Artemis guessed the elf had thrown her helmet on the ground to shut the centaur up.

''My eardrums'', she whimpered. ''D'Arvit, my poor eardrums !''

Artemis quickly picked up the helmet, which became visible when disconnected from the LEP suit. As it was too small for him, he drew it nearer to his ear.

''Pretentious insolent little Mudmoron, I'm going to skin off his...''  
''Hello, Foaly, I'm glad to see you too.''  
''... and roast him into his own fat before I'll... Fowl ! I'm really done with this arrogance of yours, you D'Arviting swearing toa...''  
''Artemis, drop this now, you'll get us noticed !''

Before the young Fowl could protest over the hypocrisy of the purpose, the helmet was already taken off his hands.

''I've cut the communicator, we're safe'', Holly eventually informed. ''I'm getting low on magic, I've got to find some human clothes so I can save up my shield. I'll explain everything later. Wait here, I'll be done in a few minutes.''

A light buzz sounded : Holly had activated her wings. Quickly the buzz receded, living a trail of flying hats and rustling leaves behind it, and Artemis found himself alone.

He precipitately got a piece of white paper out of his pocket and smoothed it out so quickly he almost teared it in two. He read closely, for the thousandth time, the words and numbers written in blood-red ink, then he looked at his watch. Despair overwhelmed him so suddenly his legs couldn't carry him anymore. He let himself fall on the chair and buried his face in his hands, feeling nauseous. That wasn't fair. Why him ? Why now ? Why _her _? Artemis straightened, eyes closed, breathing slowly and deeply, trying to get his composure back. It wasn't by panicking nor feeling sorry that he could elaborate a plan. This thought couldn't calm down the aching anxiety growing inside him. He didn't need to elaborate a plan. He had already found the solution. It fused through his brain as soon as he had read the message for the first time, this morning.

Artemis folded the paper and put it back in his pocket with a sight. This solution was far from perfect. Actually, it was the dumbest idea he seemed to have ever had. Dumb, but also terribly dangerous, and not only for him... Artemis swallowed and lowered his head, lost in his thoughts, watching without seeing the twisted tie on his knees. Was it really necessary to take all those risks in order to prevent something that would happen anyway sooner or later, whatever his objections might be ? And then, maybe he was thinking selfishly. After all, was it really that terrible to...

''Boo !''

Artemis jumped. Holly, soberly dressed in jeans and a large green jacket over her LEP flying suit, her long ears hidden under a white cap too big for her tiny fairy head, burst out laughing.

''Come on, Artemis, don't pull that face, it was a joke ! You comin' ?''

Artemis raised his head to Holly's, contemplating her flushed cheeks, her laughing eyes, her cheerful expression. Holly's smile dissipated in front of the intensity of her friend's gaze.

''... Artemis ? Is everything okay ?''

The young Fowl nodded, and managed to smile. He had made his decision, and was now sure it was the good one.

''Yes, I'm coming.''

They started walking towards the Place de la Concorde, at the opposite of the Louvre, and Holly explained to him the Detection mission she was assigned to :

''A couple of pixies disappeared this morning. They took a clandestine touristic shuttle at 11 PM for Disneyland Paris, with a little group of elves, and they escaped the detection of their guide during the fireworks, at around 1 AM. This moronic gnome only noticed it at the E37 shuttle station, five hours after the closing of the park, and he called the LEP only once back to Haven, that's why we couldn't intervene earlier. According to the surveillance video files Foaly hacked, the pixies left Disneyland at around 2 AM for a romantic walk in Paris. They have been roaming in the city for about twelve hours, and we don't know if they had enough magic or presence of mind to shield. So far, Foaly hadn't managed to locate them. We must absolutely find those pixies before a human takes a picture of them...''  
''Do you think we'll have to use force ?'' Artemis asked.  
''No, I don't think so. They are only civilians who wanted to take the opportunity of being in Paris to visit. Neither of them has criminal antecedents. I'll just have to show my badge and they'll follow me without making any fuss. Easy as tarantula-pie.''

Artemis stopped.

''If it's such a child's play, why am I here ?''

Holly shrugged.

''Well, even if you're not the romantic type, you know Paris better than us. You must have an idea of the landmarks in front of which an impassioned couple might want to peck, don't you ? It would spare me hours of research.''  
''Since when have I looked like a tour guide ?'' said Artemis vexed.

Holly rolled up her eyes.

''Maybe I just wanted to see you, simpleton'', she retorted nudging him on the kneecap. ''And as you told me you were presently in Paris, I gave Trouble an excuse to seize the opportunity. And talking about your presence in Paris, how's your Minerva doing ?''  
''It's not « my » Minerva'', an offended Artemis said, massaging his sore kneecap. ''I had to attend a series of psychology lectures in Versailles, and as she owns a private hotel on the Champs-Elysées, she invited me to stay for the week, so I don't have to pay for accommodation. That being said, she's doing good, even if she's a bit frustrated she still hasn't beat me at chess. Satisfied ?''  
''... Did you just say a private hotel ?''  
''Yes, it was her tenth birthday's gift.''

Holly made a sound oscillating between a moan and laughter.

''When I think that I got a teddy owl for my tenth birthday, and I had to babysit each evening for twenty years to pay for my first flat...'' the elf dropped with an acid tone. ''But well. Butler is with her, I suppose ?''  
''Yes'', Artemis nodded. ''During the three years we spent in Hybras, they became quite good friends. I offered Butler to visit the Louvre with Minerva. Of course he refused, saying he had to protect me and acting like he wasn't interested, but I saw he was actually dying to do it... It's true that with all the trouble I get with my plans, he doesn't have much time to rest.''

Holly had a hard time believing she had just heard Artemis vaguely admit his plans were, as Mulch said so well, « huge trouble magnets», but she wasn't given the time to enjoy this unique moment : her helmet, which she was carrying under the arm, started vibrating like a phone in silent mode.

''Foaly the revengeful centaur's comeback'', Holly stated sarcastically while replacing her cap by the helmet. ''Yeeeeeeeeees ?'' she added towards the susmentioned centaur.  
''Major Short, it's Commander Kelp.''  
''_Oh_, er, aye aye Commander'', Holly mumbled, her ears blushing under Artemis's amused eye. ''I, er, I didn't think...''  
''Have you found the fugitives ?''  
''Negative, Commander. I still don't know where they...''  
''The Eiffel Tower.''  
''What ?'' Holly said.  
''What, what ?'' Trouble flustered.  
''The Eiffel Tower'', Artemis repeated sweetly. ''The most visited of French landmarks. Your wandering lovebirds are surely there.''  
''Major Short ! What's happening ?''  
''Artemis thinks...''  
''I don't think, I'm sure'', he cut off.

Holly frowned. Was it sadness in young Fowl's smile ? Nonetheless, she resumed :

''He's convinced the fugitives are at the Eiffel Tower.''  
''Well... I guess it's worth going and check then. Fly there right now, we don't have time to lose. I'll pass Foaly the information and get back to you as soon as he got something.''  
''Got it, Commander.''  
''Oh, and... Holly ?''  
''Yes ?''  
''... There's a big storm coming. Take care of yourself.''

The communication was cut off. Holly lifted her helmet's visor and winked at Artemis.

''We're on our way to the Eiffel Tower then ! We'll have to fly over there, take this CamoFoil.''

The two friends walked across the Place de la Concorde and hid behind a bus stop. As Trouble predicted, it started pouring, and the crowd of tourists vanished as if by magic in the subway entrances. Checking out for anyone observing them, Artemis quickly wrapped himself in the CamoFoil while Holly unrolled her Moonbelt. She used it to attach her friend, now invisible to sight, to her suit belt, activated her own shield and flew off.

Holly's new LEP suit was equipped with the latest Hummingbird wings model. The invisible duet crossed the Seine in less than a second and scudded above the Quai d'Orsay, one hundred and eighty feet above the ground, flying over traffic jams and furious honkings. Artemis, comfortably settled and safe from the intensifying rain, tried to enjoy the sight he had of Paris but the curtains of rain were blurring his vision and drowning the beautiful mansions into a grey and gloomy aura. Beyond the old buildings, the famous Eiffel Tower raised, black and threatening, its spine itching the fluffy belly of the clouds. Artemis felt a lump of apprehension in his throat, and he wished Gustave Eiffel had stumbled on the edge of his bathtub the day he got the idea of building the tower.

Flying over the rooftops, Holly quickly reached the square where the monument stood, and hovered, hoping the overview would help her spotting the pixies ; but with the rain her efforts were lost. Furthermore, despite the storm some tourists persisted in wanting to climb up the Tower, and the crowd, though a lot less consequent than if the sun was fully shining, could easily hide two fairy beings the size of ten-year-old children. Her eyes narrowed, Holly persisted for a few moments but eventually gave up. A lightning split through the sky, a few miles further. Holly couldn't help herself from jumping at the violence and the loudness of the thunder ; it was as if the celestial archway cracked open in front of a high-sensitivity microphone.

''Artemis, do you see anything ?'' Holly screamed to cover the sound of the pouring rain. ''Artemis ?''

When he saw the lightning, Artemis felt as if his heart had stopped beating. He understood. He should have guessed earlier with the weather ; actually he surely did but he didn't want to admit it. His eyes filled with doubt. His will was suddenly shaken.

''Artemis !''  
''Sorry ?''  
''Do you see anything, or what ?''  
''Besides pouring rain, not much, no.''

Stifling a cuss, Holly tried to reconnect with Haven, but got nothing except statics. Artemis bit his lip.

''Too much rain'', the fairy grunted. ''Alright... let's land on the square.''  
''... Really ?''  
''Of course, where do you want us to go ?''

Artemis didn't answer, taken aback. Things weren't going exactly as expected. Holly dived and landed softly. Artemis entangled in the CamoFoil, slipped on the wet ground and elegantly crashed down. Holly, despite the emergency of the situation, couldn't help regretting she hadn't filmed this landing.

''Eheh, it's in the box ! '' sneered Foaly in her ear as if he had read in her thoughts. ''Artemis will never make me destroy this proof ! How could I name the video ? « The delicate landing of Artemis » ? ... No, not very imaginative, don't you think ? Oh, I know, I'll call it...  
''Foaly ! Did you find the pixies ?''  
''You don't care about the video which is going to be the star of the internets ?''  
''First, I care about it as much as my first scooter, and second, you'd better not post this video, it's a matter of _survival_.''  
''That much ?''  
''I sent Artemis the LEP's Eve video.''

Though she couldn't see the centaur's face on the inner visor of her helmet, Holly knew his smug smile was slowly fading from his lips. At the Eve organized by Lili Frond, Foaly had drunk the equivalent of three barrels of hydromel, with the consequences you can imagine. Thinking he was the reincarnation of Leguman, he had rushed into the office like a madman, convinced he could go through walls. Unfortunately, he couldn't, and had spent the rest of the evening sleeping off his hydromel at Haven's hospital, his forehead decorated with a huge bump and his nose broken.

''Holly... you didn't dare...''  
''_Have you found the pixies ?_''

There was a new crack of thunder, and Holly, her ears buzzing, could only perceive the end of the sentence :

''.. at the bottom of the Tower, at the other side of the square. Wait a sec, I'm entering their ID code on your visor's locator.''

Holly raised her head. Everything around her was in black and white, except for two fluorescent green forms stuck to one another. The elf's blood ran cold in her veins when she realized the two fugitives were sheltering under the umbrellas of a group of German tourists. They hadn't noticed the fairies yet, or if they had they certainly had taken them for children. But one moment or another, they would notice the pointy ears the pixies didn't even try to hide, too busy at cooing and lovingly winking at each other.

''For Frond D'Arviting sake, they are totally crazy !'' Holly shouted in gnommish, gathering the curious gaze of two Japanese, gaze which met nothing but emptiness, the magic shield's glimmering undetectable under the rain. ''We've gotta arrest them, quick !''  
''Holly, wait !''

The fairy, who had already rushed towards the fugitives, ground to a halt and turned, surprised, towards Artemis. The young Irishman had stood without her noticing, and now he was a few steps behind her, his look unreadable. She was picking some selected insults nasty enough to make a swearing toad blush, when she saw something in her friend's eyes, something she couldn't remember seeing in those eyes ever before. Fear. She calmed down right away and took a step towards him, worried :

''Artemis ? What's going on ?''

Her friend bit his lip and lowered his head, a hand gripped on his watch. When he stared back at her, his mismatched eyes had returned to unreadable.

''Holly, you trust me, don't you ?''

Taken aback, the elf took a few seconds before she answered :

''Yes, of course I trust you. But why d...''

She couldn't finish her sentence, for Artemis had suddenly put his hands to her shoulders and pushed her with all his strength. Holly slipped in a puddle and fell, her surprised exclamation mutating into a cry of pain when her fragile fairy skull violently bounced on the stone ground. A horrible cracking resounded, making her eardrums buzz painfully. Magical sparks blurring her sight, Holly straightened with her fists clunched, ready to hit before asking for explanations, a shrill hissing through her head.

Holly had risen just in time to see a long sharp metallic spike fallen from the sky piercing Artemis from side to side and sinking in the ground with a whirring sound, at the exact spot where she was standing a second before.

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... _Popsicle anyone ? *gets hit by a shower of rocks*  
I hope your enjoyed this chapter (besides from his lovely ending) ! So, do you think Artemis will survive, or is really dead ? What are your theories ? I'd love to hear it ! And if you spotted any mistakes or else, feel free to point it out !  
I'll try to translate next chapter as fast as I can, but I also have to finish writing the third one in French, so I can't make any promises. I'll still do my best though. :)  
_  
_See ya !_


	3. Posthumous letter

_Hello Internet, here's chapter two ! I've never been that fast at updating, I just can't believe my own eyes ! I'm getting really addicted to translation now ^^  
**Disclaimer : I am still not Eoin Colfer, and his characters still don't belong to me (lucky ones...).**_

Enjoy your reading !

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**Chapter 2 - Posthumous Letter**

**LOUVRE MUSEUM, PARIS**

Butler had already been to the Louvre, many years ago. It was five or six months before Artemis's birth. The Eurasian only kept a few memories of this little visit ; but he didn't remember having the time to enjoy the art. Afterall, it was deep night, and he had to send the guardians and surveillance cameras to dreamland while Artemis Senior and the Major were operating a traffic of impressionist paintings, intended to decorate the future newborn's bedroom. In these conditions it was quite hard to give a closer interest to the museum's works of art, which Butler deeply regretted.

Thus, when Minerva offered to accompany her, Butler eventually welcomed the invitation with pleasure. First he had some qualms leaving Artemis by himself, but his young charge was now sixteen - or nineteen, thank you Hybras -, and in case of trouble there was still Holly you could count on. Nevertheless Butler's bodyguard conscience kept teasing him, and kept him from fully appreciating the Greek marble statues and the paintings of the Renaissance. He had the feeling there was something preparing, and that that something wasn't any good.

The Eurasian lifted up his sleeve, giving his watch a quick look. 3.15 PM. He sighed. He liked the paintings of romantic landscapes, but actually besides these, art had never been his greatest passion, and Butler was starting to reach his saturation limit. Too many paintings, too many sculptures, hand-carved antique combs, endless corridors where works of art always brought more works of art which started to look all the same in the eyes of a Domovoï on the edge of the artistical overdose.

And Minerva, as full of good intentions as she might be, wasn't making anything better. No sooner had the bodyguard seemed to stop near a painting than she rushed to his side, giving him a highspeed speech about the complete analysis of the work mixed to a lesson of art history that even a third year student in Beaux-Arts class wouldn't be able to follow. Now, poor Butler didn't dare to even _slow down _as soon as there was a work of art in a less-than-six-feet perimeter. With his foolproof physical endurance it shouldn't have raised any problems ; the bodyguard was able to run all around the museum and not get tired before two hours - if there wasn't this annoying headache due to Minerva's high-pitched tone, three hours.

But the young French girl already had a hard time following him when he was walking - a step for him was three for her -, and thus the duet was currently standing in a sort of little inner courtyard with marble stairs, near a Greek statue the whole curriculum vitae of which Minerva was detailing from memory, raising her voice to cover the hammering of the violent rain which had started to pour on the museum's roof a few minutes before. Butler, pretending he was listening - an exercise he was high-skilled at by dint of being with Artemis all day -, observed two young girls fighting with the wheelchair elevator, wondering with amusement when they were going to realize they were just next to stairs.

''... Domovoï, are you listening to me ?''

Butler turned away from the tourists and gave Minerva a contrite smile, something only the young French girl and Juliet, Butler's little sister, could ever hope to get. They were also two of the three only people in the world to call him by his first name - the last person being his mother.

''I've got to admit I'm done with Greek statues.''

His friend shrugged, not vexed at all.

''I understand. For unadvised people, these statues probably have tendencies to look all alike. would you rather we went to see the religious pictures ?''

Butler hesitated. Minerva was obviously delighted to share all her artistic knowledge with him, but he felt that if he stayed in this museum a few minutes longer he would start vomiting acrylic.

Suddenly, his pocket started to vibrate, and Butler's blood instantly ran cold in his veins.

The discreet buzz stopped as abruptly as it had started. The Eurasian knew he had to react, see what was going on ; but he remained stuck in place, unable to move.

''Domovoï, you're all pale !'' Minerva worried. ''What's going on ?''

The bodyguard put a shaky hand to his pocket and took out a little golden and shiny object. Artemis's signet ring, the fairy transmitter and receiver the young man used to keep in touch with the underground world.

''He gave it to me this morning'' Butler explained in a toneless voice. '' « Just in case » ''.  
''Maybe it's nothing...'' Minerva enventually said.

Butler would have given anything to make Minerva's words true. But he felt as if his whole body was freezing from the inside, and his instinct never failed him. Holding his breath, the bodyguard switched on the fairy communicator and, holding the fake signet ring in its hand - it was too thin for him to put it on -, approached it from his ear. Impassive, Butler listened to the recorded message until the bitter end, his face expressionless. Even after Holly's voice had shut, he kept the communicator against his ear, waiting to awake from this nightmare. Minerva, panicked by her friend's sudden calmness, worried.

''Domovoï, what's wrong ? What's going on ?'' she exclaimed, gathering the annoyed looks of art lovers. ''_What's going on ?_''  
''Artemis'', Butler said.

And he collapsed.

**ORSAY E1-C FAIRY TERMINAL, PARIS, FRANCE**

''_This isn't possible_.''

''_It couldn't have happened_.''

''I _couldn't have_ let _this happen_.''

Holly may kept this sentences looping in her head, like a mantra, as many times as she wanted, Artemis's body still rested on the iron table in front of her. Lifeless.

Curled up on her chair, her chin resting on her bent knees, Holly stared at the corpse as if she could make it disappear by the simple strength of her gaze. She wished she could look away, even only for a few seconds ; but the blood that kept slowly leaving Artemis's body created a sort of morbid fascination upon her. She did try to stop the bleeding with the Medipacks she found in the terminal, but she could as well try to retain water with a strainer.

''... Holly, are you okay ?''

The elf raised her head. She hadn't noticed the terminal's control panel was switched on. Foaly's high definition picture gave her a weak smile. Holly tried to imagine what she looked like, with her LEP suit caked with dried blood and her hair soaked. She scratched a crust on her cheek, where Artemis's blood had splattered her when...

''Apart from my best friend just lying impaled before my eyes, I'm all fresh'', she ironized with an acid tone. ''Thanks for worrying.''  
''Holly...''  
''Trouble is furious, isn't he ?'' she interrupted.

Foaly sighed.

''Rather, yes'', he eventually admitted. ''It took me a matter of seconds to fix the surveillance cameras' problem, but Kelp had to send a commando to take care of the tourists, especially the ones you've knocked out. I've never seen him that red. He nearly could've competed with Jul...''

The centaur bit his lip, feeling he shouldn't have said that name. Holly lowered her head. Evoking her former commander hurt even more than usually. Tears suddenly blurred her sight. Why did all her most beloved ones always have to die before her eyes ?

The fairy tried to swallow her sobs, but she couldn't prevent her voice from slightly shaking.

''I was under shock. I only thought about taking Artemis somewhere safe, I didn't think about the consequences. It won't probably calm him down, but you can tell this to Trouble.''  
''I will. He won't like it, but he'll understand. I hope so.''

Holly shrugged. She didn't mind about what Trouble understood or not. He could even get her fired from the LEP, she didn't care a single second. Artemis was dead. Because of her.

''Holly'', the centaur added, making the elf wonder once more about the scientist's telepathic skills. ''You have nothing to blame yourself about, okay ? It was an accident. It wasn't your fault.''

A door slamming and footsteps kept Holly from answering. Against all expectations, Minerva was the first one to jut out in the terminal's control room. Whether that was the acrid and heady smell of the blood impregnating the whole room or the sight of the corpse lying on the table that froze the young girl, Holly couldn't tell. Her complexion nauseous, Minerva leaned on the wall, making visibly huge efforts not to throw up. Then Butler appeared on the doorstep.

A few seconds seeming like centuries went by softly. Butler closed the door behind him, and slowly stepped forward, stopping at the edge of the table. With his eyes closed, the shadow of a smile floating on his lips, Artemis could have been sleeping for a seven-centimeter of diameter bleeding hole in his chest. Butler took off his jacket and used it as a blanket to tenderly cover his principal. He had already done this in the past, when Artemis used to read in the living room late at night and fell asleep on the couch. At this time the young Fowl was between seven and nine years old, but Domovoï remembered it as if it were yesterday. Except this time, everything was different. Artemis didn't even slightly react when Butler tucked him in; and when the bodyguard delicately brushed the young man's cheek to remove a few bloodstains, the skin was cold and diaphanous. Butler slowly removed his hand. He closed his eyes, but tears rolled down all the same. He had failed. His mission, his only mission, was to protect Artemis, come hell or high water, and he let him go. He let him die.

''Butler...''

That voice. The Eurasian's pain briskly turned into a fit of anger. He caugh the sympathetic arm that Holly had put on his hand, and lifted her off the ground, ignoring her cries of pain.

''_I trusted you !_'' he shouted, shaking the hell out of the poor elf. ''_I trusted you, you useless bitch ! How could you..._''

He then noticed that the fairy was on the verge of tears, and that her arm, which he still held in his fist, was twisted in a worrisome angle. Guilt overwhelmed him immediately, and he put Holly back on the ground. She collapsed like a rag doll, magic reconstituting her bones litteraly crushed by the bodyguard's grip. Minerva rushed to her side, a Medipack in hand. Red with shame, Butler lowered his head. Never had he lost his temper like that, never. Nothing made sense anymore. He felt like plummeting in a black hole, whitout any further landmark to hold on to.

''I apologize, Holly'', he dropped in a toneless voice. ''I didn't mean anything I said, I didn't want to...''  
''That's alright'', she cut off while the last blue sparks disappeared from the surface of her reconstructed arm. ''I hate myself too.''

A heavy silence settled. Foaly himself didn't know what to say. Eventually, Minerva coughed hesitantly :

''But... what happened exactly ?'' she asked. ''Nobody explained anything to me!'' she added towards Holly and Foaly surprised gazes. ''Domovoï only told me Artemis was... how did it happen ?''

Foaly cleared his throat uneasily.

''A particularly violent stroke of thunder snatched the radio antenna at the top of the Eiffel Tower'', he explained. ''I've hacked and saved the images from the surveillance cameras, and I have to say the lightning was quite spectacular, though the whole thing lasted less than a fraction of a second. Most of the tourists believed there was a bomb attack or something, and many ran away. Actually, I don't think a single one saw the antenna land. Antenna which would have pinned Holly to the ground, if Artemis hadn't pushed her.''  
''... You mean he knew the antenna was about to fall ?'' exclaimed Minerva in disbelief. ''But that's impossible ! There's a lightning rod at the top of the Tower, and cables linked to the ground reconduct the electricity in case of a lightning strike. This kind of accident isn't even _supposed _to happen, how could Artemis have predicted it ?!''  
''Are you suggesting the lightning rod has been tampered with?'' the centaur asked.  
''No, only that this accident _cannot_ exist.''  
''And why not ?'' Foaly retorted. ''Accorded to its size and its radiance, the lightning should have contained a few thousand volts to say the least. No lightning rod in the world could've resisted it. The one you're talking about probably melted like butter in the microwave.''  
''_Mais c'est absurde_ _!_'' Minerva exclaimed in French, furious.  
''_All_ accidents are absurd, girly, and screaming it aloud shaking your golden ringlets won't make things change'', dropped the scientist bitterly.

The young girl clenched her fists. She had never been as gifted as Artemis to keep her temper. Especially when she was referred to as ''girly''.

''Let's admit it was an accident. _In this case, _you stupid old donkey, how do you explain Artemis knew _exactly_ were the antenna was going to fall, and when, to push Holly in time ? He guessed it, or was he guided by a divine intervention ? Unless he simply was in the wrong place at the wrong time, of course. But maybe he just pushed Holly in order to have more room to dance the macarena. In your world were antennas fall from the sky and lightning rods melt like butter, I guess it's commonplace ?''

Maybe it was, but in any case Foaly enjoyed just as much being called a donkey as Minerva a girlie.

''It's not because your boyfriend died while you were admiring old Egyptian combs you've got to unload your nerves on me, understood ?''  
''First, Artemis and I weren't dating'', Minerva answered in such a cold voice the temperature seemed to drop a few degrees. ''And second, I don't know, maybe as you've suggested the lightning rod _was_ altered. By a jealous scientist, so stupid he thinks he can protect himself with an aluminum hat. I'm not pointing fingers at anyone.''

Foaly would have probably started to pour out a stream of well-chosen insults if Butler hadn't stepped forward between the young French girl and the control panel, his arms outstreched horizontally as if to separate two fighters.

''Foaly. Minerva. Silence. Immediately.''

The young girl put her fists down, not willing to meet her friend's from a closer view, but the centaur, safe at the LEP's Headquarters in Haven, muttered :

''Just admit this accusation is ridiculous. Artemis is... was indeed the most pretentious, annoying and despicable Mudboy I've ever known, but I've never had even the slightest will to kill him.''  
''That being said, Minerva isn't entirely wrong.''

Nobody expected Holly to speak again, so they all jumped at the sound of her voice. During Foaly and Minerva's fight, the elf had stepped closer to the table, to which she clang in case her still shaky legs couldn't carry her anymore. She hesitated, then added :

''Artemis knew something. His behavior was... weird, he seemed... absent. Preoccupied.''  
''What do you mean, a « weird behavior » ?'' Butler asked.

Holly lifted her head.

''He kept looking at his watch and fiddling I-dont-know-what in his pocket'', she answered. ''You noticed something too ?''

Butler bit his lip.

''Well... he received a letter this morning..''  
''Yes, he told me about it'', Holly interrupted.  
''... There was no sender on the envelope, neither a stamp nor an address. Only Artemis's name. I wasn't there when he opened it, but when I saw him later... How couldn't I notice how pale he was ? He insisted for me to go to the museum with Minerva instead of accompanying him with you. And I accepted...''

The bodyguard's shoulders fell under the weight of guilt. He would never recover. Holly felt bad for him. Foaly himself hesitated a bit before asking :

''Did... Artemis ever receive other letters like these before ?''

Butler searched his memory, but shook his head negatively.

''Not that I'm aware of... That being said, I'm not really in charge of the mail at the manor. It was often Juliet who awoke first and went to the mailbox, and since she left it has been Angeline's task. She probably knows...''

The Eurasian shut up. Evoking Angeline lowered his shoulders even more. How could he announce her that her elder son was dead ? And to Artemis Senior ?

''Butler'', Holly said softly, ''where's the letter now ? What did Artemis do with it ?''  
''I don't know... no, wait...''

The Eurasian's eyes lit up.

''His pocket. He had it in hand, then when we left the hotel with Minerva he put it in his jacket's pocket.''

Holly didn't hesitate. She removed Domovoï's jacket from Artemis's chest and, climbing flat on her belly on the table, dove her hand into the young man's pocket, trying not to look at the bleeding hole a few inches from her fingers.

The first pocket she tried, the right one, was empty. However in the left one, she found a wrinkled black tie and a ball of paper, so small she nearly missed it. The paper musn't have exceded the size of a post-it.

Holly joined Minerva and Butler, and unfolded the ball feverishly. It was white, embossed paper, a bit soggy because of the rain which went through Artemis's clothes while Holly took the corpse to the Orsay fairy terminal. The paper was slightly reddened, due to the diluted blood impregnating it. But you could still easily read the febrile handwriting, drawn in red pen. Before his three friends' silence, Foaly worried he might have been forgotten.

''So, what does it say ?''

Holly stepped towards the control panel and reached the paper in front of the screen. Foaly's jaw dropped in surprise.

''_H. Short  
Eiffel Tower, 16th July 2009  
15:17:46_''

Silence. The centaur closed his mouth and swallowed, his brain running at full speed. Suddenly, he raised his head, and exclaimed :

''I'm going to...''

But they never knew what Foaly was going to do. Actually, the centaur never finished his sentence. He shut in the middle of a word, agape and eyes wide open, as all the occupants of the little fairy terminal did.

Because Artemis Fowl II just stood up.

* * *

_I luv cliffhangers =3  
Don't nobody panic, even though it looks like one I promise this won't be an AF/George Romero crossover. Zombies stink. I'll do my best to keep up the update rythm now, see ya =)_


	4. Diabolical Tragedy

**Chapter 3 - Diabolical Tragedy**

**ORSAY E1-C FAIRY TERMINAL, PARIS, FRANCE**

Well, ''stood up'' might be too big a word. ''Jumped like an electrocuted frog while coughing and spitting out his guts'' would be a more accurate description. Gasping, Artemis couldn't retain a cry of pain. Shock had first anesthetized him, but now it had faded, he felt as if he had a lighted blowtorch in his limbs. His sight already blurred by tears, Artemis had to gather all his mental strength to keep himself from fingering his chest. He had no desire to know the damages a radio antenna could do on a human body. Though, due to his difficulty to breathe and the blood regularly spurting out of the wound, he guessed his heart and limbs had been severely affected.

« _Don't panic. Don't panic or your brain won't end up irrigated enough to decide whether you have to panic or not. _»

A flash of pain shot through Artemis from side to side, reaping another scream from from his mouth. He clenched his hands upon his wound, his sobs getting more and more intense. He had done everything he could to get prepared, but he would never have imagined the pain to be so excruciatingly unbearable. It burnt and froze at the same time, and the bleeding was intensifying for he wasn't able to slow down his heartbeat.

« _Remind me, why did I wake up? _»

Suddenly he felt a weight on his shoulders. Wide and gnarled hands, the grip firm but tender. Artemis tried to say his bodyguard's name, but his sore throat only emitted unintelligible gurgles. A third hand, thin and soft, smelling like lemongrass, placed on his mouth to prevent him from talking. The gestures were kind, but the hand was shaking. Artemis tried to understand who the hand belonged to, when other ones, much smaller, moved his fingers clenched on his wound and literaly dove into the gaping hole of flesh and blood. Pain whiplashed through Artemis's chest, and he huddled in Butler's warm and reassuring embrace, his sight, blurred with tears - were they still his ? - and blue sparks, becoming more and more fuzzy. Before he fainted, Artemis heard distraught voices talking about hospital, emergency and Haven-City, and he caught himself wishing he wouldn't wake up again.

**HAVEN-CITY CENTRAL HOSPITAL, UNDERGROUND WORLD**

His eyes closed, Artemis tried to determine whether he should open them or not. From the omnipresent smell of antiseptic and his bed's too much ironed sheets, he was indeed in a hospital. The pain in his chest was now reduced to an irritating tingling. Artemis wondered what his mortal wound looked like. Had the epiderm formed a tiny layer upon the hole, or had magic created skin inside the wound too, covering the ripped bones and organs ? And what about the latter ? Artemis felt heartbeats in his chest, an electrocardiogram was bipping regularly on his right, and the acid weight keeping him from breathing had disappeared. He concluded his organs were doing fine. He felt an irrepressible and morbid need to check his hypotheses, but the fear he might not be alone in the room kept him from moving. He really didn't want to see his friends now, but above all Butler wasn't probably far away, and the idea of facing the bodyguard highly terrified Artemis. He thought for a moment he could simulate a coma, but his wound itched terribly. He listened carefully, and perceived no other breathing than his own. As the tinglings were becoming more and more unbearable, Artemis eventually opened his eyes.

Around his bed, Butler, Holly, Foaly and Minerva were observing him with ghastly faces. Artemis considered the possibility of fainting again, but the trick would be too obvious. He tried to stare back at them, but the light of reproach and incomprehension in their eyes made him uncomfortable. Artemis swallowed and lowered his head. He knew from the beginning he couldn't escape this, but he didn't imagine it would be that hard. He closed his eyes, then reopened them.

''I...''  
''Goddammit, Artemis'', Butler cut off with a shaky voice, ''what the hell is this all about ?!''

Artemis shut up, guilt overwhelming him. Only looking at the Eurasian's confused face hurt him. How do you explain to your bodyguard, your _friend_, that you've been lying to him for years ?

To give himself a semblance of composure, he bent towards his wound. Holly opened her mouth to speak, but didn't say anything. Artemis smiled sadly. Eventually, his second hypothesis about skin was the right one.

« _Fabulous. Now I can be part of _Freaks_ circus : ''After the limbless man, please welcome the pierced one !''... I hope I'll get along well with the siamese twins._»

He ran his finger along the soft, baby-like skin, raising and lowering by the rythm of the systole and diastole, which covered his newly-reconstructed heart.

''Er, Artemis, you shouldn't touch it'', Foaly said with embarassment. ''The Paramedic Warlocks finished the operation on your heart less than an hour ago, it's still... fragile.''  
''It's my fault'', Holly added with a guilty look. ''I only tried to stop the bleeding, I didn't think the magic would try to fix the, er... the rest.''  
''I spare you the details, but if I hadn't been able to get Trouble's authorization to send an emergency shuttle that quick, you would have ended up with a bone heart and a skin ribcage'', the centaur resumed.

A silence followed this declaration. Artemis raised his eyes towards Butler, and immediately regretted this move. Never had he seen the bodyguard so depressed. And this, by his fault. The grey eyes gave him a gaze filled with mixed sadness and reproach. Artemis felt a weight falling on his stomach. Butler was already mad at him. When he'd learn the truth, the bodyguard would never forgive him. Artemis desperately clenched his fists. He had to say something, anything.

''I'm sorry.''

To his ears, the words seemed empty and ridiculous, and he regretted them as soon as he had pronounced them. Butler sighed shaking his head. He opened the front of his jacket and took something in his inner pocket. When Artemis identified the object, he felt his heart stop beating.

''Can you explain to me where you got this from, Artemis ?'' the Eurasian eventually dropped, throwing the piece of embossed paper on the bed.

The young Fowl felt like a murderer caught red-handed. He hadn't thought they would find the letter, and the panic rising inside him kept him from inventing an excuse.

« _Which excuse would you invent anyway, stupid ? It's too late for lies, far too late. You had to think about it before jumping under this bloody antenna. _»

Artemis shivered when he remembered his death. The anxiety choking him a few milliseconds before the impact. The feel of the antenna getting through him like a knife cutting through butter. The sound of his bones cracking, his muscles torn apart. Then the darkness.

''D'Arvit, Artemis !'' Holly exclaimed, bringing him back to reality. ''Why were you carrying around a paper with my name and the time and date of your death on it ?'' she added with a desperate voice.

Artemis sighed. He couldn't back away any further. He owed them explanations.

''The time and date of _your_ death, Holly'', he answered.  
''My...''

Under the shock, Holly couldn't end her sentence. She had suspected it was that, but she had hoped with all her heart Artemis would give a less frightening explanation.

''I received that letter this morning,'' Artemis went on reluctantly. ''I... I... first I though it was a hoax, but when you called to give me an appointment at the Tuileries garden, I understood I had actually received a paper with your death planned on it. I immediately decided to prevent it, one way or another. Butler, I knew you would think it too dangerous and you wouldn't let me go, that's why I insisted you go to the Louvre with Minerva. I should've explained, I apologize. Before we arrived at the Eiffel Tower square, I still didn't know how you were exactly supposed to die, Holly. I first thought you were going to fly atop the Tower, hoping to get communication back with Haven, and be electrocuted by a bolt of lightning, but eventually we ended up on the square. I hadn't a single idea what was going to happen, but as I saw there was only a few seconds left I improvised. I pushed you and put myself in your place. It worked.''

Artemis bit his lip. He had tried and hadn't lied all along the line, but he couldn't manage to tell his friends the truth. Neither him, nor them were ready for this. The question was, when would they ? For the moment, his friends were all staring at him, trying to digest the information. Foaly and Minerva exchanged a look. Artemis couldn't blame them for being suspicious. Rarely he had invented such a wobbly and incoherent story, even back when he was writing slushy stories to make some more money. Foaly eventually stepped forward, his hooves breaking the silence.

''It's a lovely friendship story you're telling us, Artemis'', the centaur said, ''but beside its absurdity, it doesn't answer the question we all have in mind...''  
''...why did you sacrifice yourself and_ how is it that you're still alive ?_'' Minerva completed in disbelief, pointing his wound.  
''I knew I couldn't die'', Artemis said slowly, ''because I'm already dead.''

Silence.

''...S..._Sorry_ ?'' Butler stammered.  
''I'm already dead'', Artemis repeated in a weaker voice.  
''D'Arvit'', Holly dropped in shock.  
''It's impossible'', Minerva decreted.  
''You're joking, aren't you ?'' Foaly asked.

Only Butler remained silent. He was the only one Artemis was staring at, and soon the others imitated him. The Eurasian asked in a soft voice :

''When ?''  
''I was six'', his principal answered bleakly.

Butler stood and left the room, slamming the door behind him. Artemis buried his face in his hands. He could hardly imagine how the situation might get worse.

**ISSY-LES-MOULINEAUX, PARISIAN SUBURB**

Leaning on the edge of the flat's window, Lagartija Nick was daydreaming. He observed the walkers distractly, not bigger than ants from the building's eighth floor, and thought a little bit of music would be welcome. A ballet theme, like _Coppélia_ for example. The first act's _mazurka_. Grandiloquent, cheerful and naive, just like those stupid Livings, running in all directions without realizing they were alive.

« _Maybe these insects have a goal in life,_ Nick thought, _but most of them certainly don't know it._ »

He didn't either, but what he knew was that whatever the path the Livings had chosen to follow, this path always lead to death. Nick fingered his mustache with his fingertips, humming dully Delibes's notes.

''It's all so grotesque'', he suddenly said. ''Birth, worries, boredom. Work, work, work. Hospital, coffin, maggots. Full stop. So many surprises ! And they persist in calling _this _life. Seriously ? If I weren't already dead, I think I would die again. From laughter.''

A gurgle resounded behind him. Lagartija Nick nodded with a sigh.

''Ah, how right you are... One day, when I have the time, I'll write a book about life. I think I'll call it _The Diabolical Tragedy_, may Dante forgive me. What do you think ?''

Another gurgle. Nick turned, and his eyes took a few moments to get accustomed to the darkness in the bathroom. Tiles and walls were splattered in an absolutely sublime red, shiny and so gloomy it almost seemed purple. In the bathtub, his head underwater, Nick's interlocutor was breathing - or rather bubbling, actually - his last. Twenty-seven, ugly and spotty, too uncomfortable with himself to strive to survive. Nothing really out of the ordinary, except the forensic scientists were going to waste valuable time trying to determine which of the drowning or the slashed veins had caused death in the first place. Nick thought briefly he could spare these brave men by taking this moron's head out of the water, but that poor freak didn't even wash his hair before committing suicide, and Nick hated getting dirty. This morning, he had to scrap up the remains of a little girl under a combine harvester for he had arrived too late. That was enough filthy stuff for today.

Thus he waited for the last air bubble to reach the water surface before getting to the bathtub. He dove his leather-gloved hand and touched the fresh corpse's cheek. An euphorizing warmth overwhelmed him, making him unvolontarily moan in pleasure while the tremulous soul roamed inside his organism, terrified. Lagartija Nick gave himself a few instants, then he spat the soul at the open air. He caught it in full flight while it tried to escape, and squeezed it mercilessly. The soul was struggling, trying to join its owner. Nick felt as he had a scared little bird in his hand. Eventually, he let go, and the shiny blue soul joined the body it had once occupied. The young suicide clumsily extricated himself out of water, uncomfortable and disoriented. He tripped over the calf of his body still lying in the bathtub, and almost crushed on the tiles. He painstakingly got hold of the shower curtain, and remained still for a few seconds, analyzing the situation.

''Er...'' the young man said fingering his butchered wrists, ''I'm dead, am I ?''  
''No shit, Sherlock'', Lagartija Nick sneered. ''Well observed. Deader than you is indecent.''

Nick was joking, but his laughter sounded bitter. Usually, it was just his favorite moment : unable to accept their time on Earth was over, the dead souls went through all stades of denial, anger and sadness, and often ended up insulting him, which never failed to make Nick laugh for he loved to learn new swearwords. But suicides behaved differently. Sometimes they thanked him warmly for releasing them from their miserable life, but most of the time they just stared at him with a moronic look on their faces - which the actual young deadman was presently doing. Nick rolled his eyes, exasperated. How much did he hate suicides ! When he didn't have to deal with completely hallucinated satanists or depressed guys bursting into tears, they were larvae not even trying to look surprised. How boring... !

Lagartija would have gladly left this naked moron in his filthy bathtub, but there was a procedure to follow, so he grumbled :

''As you have finely noticed, you have reached your deadline, mister, eh...'' Nick took a white embossed paper out of his pocket then stored it back after rereading it quickly. ''R. McGuffin. Robert or Richard ?''  
''Rodolphucius.''  
''Rod... oh, now I understand the wrists slashing. As for me, my name is Lagartija Nick. It's probably not very evocating for you, as most of the Livings know me under my various nicknames. Death, the Grim Reaper, Thanatos, la Camarde, Anubis... Anyway, you don't have to mind about it, because if you call me something other than « Sir » I'll rip your head off. But let's move on : your heart stopped beating at 6.30 PM and eighteen seconds, and you left the Living to join the Dead. Welcome and congratulations.  
''Th... thank you'', said Rodolphucius who, a bit stunned, had a hard time following Nick's fast speech.  
''Shut up when I'm speaking, runt'', Lagartija Nick retorted. ''As your death is due to suicide, you'll be assigned to a Banshee function once in the Catacombs. In the Livings' language, it means you'll be a civil servant. No need to insult me, it's the rule'', he added as Rodolphucius opened his mouth to protest. ''If you are willing to rebel any way whatsoever, I promise you are going to regret your razor didn't skip on your wrist, for the saddest and most miserable moments of your rat's life are holidays in the countryside next to what awaits for those who disobey me.''

Rodolphucius shut his mouth.

''Good. I shall accompany you to the nearer Thanatorium, you may ask me some questions while we're walking. Not now, I've got a headache. For the moment, you just have to know that...''

A fluttered melody suddenly arose, making the young suicide jump. Nick dropped an exasperated swearword and got his mobile out of his pocket.

''_Who dares disturbing me while I'm working ?_'' he shouted in the device.  
''I thought I had the right if there was an emergency'', answered a feminine voice on the other side of the line.

Lagartija Nick calmed down immediately. Severine was the only person who could afford disturbing him without condemning herself to a slow and particularly painful second death.

''Are you sure this is an exceptional situation ?''  
''Lucky Artemis didn't reap his elf friend's soul. Yours to state if the information is worthy of your attention or not, I'm going to get a kebab, I'm starvin'. See ya, honey.''  
''Bye, Severine'', Nick said to the dead line.

A wide smile had spread across his face, and his eyes lit with jubilation. He knew it, he would have bet. Lucky and his heart too big for his problems... Finally, an occasion to have a bit of fun before launching the plan.

''Er, Sir, what's going on ?'' Rodolphucius worried seeing Nick rushing towards the door.

Lagartija Nick turned, and his smile froze the little blood that remained in the young man's veins.

''The Diabolical Tragedy has just begun'', Death chuckled slamming the door behind him.


	5. Part One - Afraid for you

**PART ONE - The Ordaly**

**Chapter 4 - Afraid for you**

**WAITING ROOM, HAVEN-CITY CENTRAL HOSPITAL, UNDERGROUND WORLD**

Last time Butler remembered having cried was in 1971. He had just reached seven, and for his birthday his parents had given him a new bike. He had gone to test it with his friends on the construction site not far from home, and he vaguely remembered he had performed a magnificent gliding flight - landing piteously on a pile of broken cinderblocks - resulting in a bleeding forehead and a twisted and flabby arm. But that's not when he started crying. A Butler worthy of the name doesn't blubber for a simple scratch. As he didn't know where the closest hospital in Poprad was, he had rushed home, his friends carrying the wrecked bike. His parents were working, and at home there was only his big sister, twelve at the time, who was supposed to take care of him. When she had seen her brother coming with a green and badly twisted arm, Sretcha had slapped him vigorously before calling an ambulance. Those were tears of surprise and confusion that little Domovoï had shed on that day.

Squatting in the corner of the waiting room of Haven-City Central Hospital, which was too small for him, Butler rageously brushed the tears off his cheeks. At the time, his sister's reaction had seemed incomprehensible to him. It was unfair, why was she hitting him when he had already hurt himself ? Thinking she didn't love him anymore, he had sulked for weeks after the incident. Now, he understood that she had simply panicked. He let out a brief and bitter laugh.

« _Poor dear Sretcha ! _» he thought, sniffing. « _When I think I was mad at you, when you were just afraid for me. _»

Of course, the two Butlers eventually reconciled. But since Sretcha died from TB, when she was twenty-five, while he was taking his test to become a Blue Diamond, Domovoï had been regretting not spending more time with his big sister. He had always felt closer from her than from Juliet, since the gap in years between them was much bigger. Now, he remembered the harsh Slovakian winter nights they spent hanging around town, sharing funny stories under the lamp posts and beating up the cat molesters they came across, and he missed his ''Big Cha'' more than usual. If Sretcha had been there, she would have helped him to solve this impossible situation. But she wasn't, and Butler found himself alone, without anything in his head but the same panic that had seized the twelve-year-old girl, many years before.

The bodyguard sighed. He was so afraid for Artemis, that if he hadn't left the hospital room he would certainly have slapped his principal's head off. Young Fowl's voice echoed ceaselessly in the Eurasian's head, each time more and more painful.

« _I couldn't die, because I'm already dead. I was six. Six. Six. I'm already dead. Six. I'm already dead. Already dead. Dead, dead, dead, dead... _»

Butler put his hands on his ears, and his eyes which had eventually dried blurred with tears again. How could that even be possible, he had no idea, but he had seen it in his mismatched eyes, Artemis wasn't lying.

« _Already dead, six, already dead, six, I was six, dead, dead, dead... _»

Had he spent the previous decade of his life protecting a... a corpse ? A living-dead ? It must be a nightmare. Butler hit his head against the wall - which cracked at the impact. No, it was definitely real.

« _I was six. _»

''_But how didn't I notice ?!_'' the bodyguard yelled hitting the poor wall with his fist.

He reviewed the year 1997, gathering his memories of Artemis at the time, trying to recollect the tiniest detail he could have missed, but it was so long ago...

''And what do you expect, you dumbhead, to remember a morning when you found Artemis lying dead in a pool of blood ?'' he rageously sighed.

His principal couldn't have died under his nose without his noticing ! But then, when ? How ? A whole lot of scenarios the ones the more atrocious than the others flashed in Domovoï's feverish mind. What if Artemis had been abducted ? Tortured ? Raped ? Murdered ? Butler buried his head in his hands. Six. _Six_. And he hadn't done anything. He hadn't even _noticed_. For twelve years, he had looked after a dead boy. The bodyguard burst into hysterical laughter. Maybe he was insane. He hadn't got over his principal's death in 1997, and had imagined he was still alive, living extraordinary adventures with fairies together, and since all that time he had been protecting a ghost ! What a superb plot twist that would be, uh ? Butler's laugh ended up in a sob. He was lost. Lost in the meanders of his own fear.

He didn't even catch sight of the black and silent shadow which was heading towards Artemis's room.

**ROOM ****369, HAVEN-CITY CENTRAL HOSPITAL, UNDERGROUND WORLD**

A silence followed Butler's departure, only troubled by the soft sobs Artemis was trying to contain in his hands. Nobody knew how to react. Minerva had first rushed after her friend, but Foaly had caught her wrist, guessing the bodyguard needed some time alone to get over the new. Himself had a hard time stopping his gaze from scanning the room for hidden cameras, wondering when this morbid mess would stop. Expecting just everything from Artemis Fowl II, the centaur had prepared himself to the most farfetched explanations after his friend's unbelievable ressuscitation, but he would never have imagined... _that_. Even for him who lived with magic on a daily basis, it was totally surrealistic. As for Minerva, she was reviewing all the drinks she had absorbed since this morning to know in which glass the drug had been poured. She could see no other explanation to the total delirium she was swimming in for the past few hours.

Eventually, it was Holly who, standing on her chair, put a sympathetic hand on her friend's shoulder. Artemis started, but let the elf hug him. He dropped his hands, ceasing his efforts to hide his sobs, and laid his head on his friend's bushy hair, drained of all his strengths. It's always hard to die, even for the second time.

''Are you going to be alright ?'' Holly asked nicely.

Artemis closed his eyes, one more tear rolling down his cheek.

''I'm so tired... And Butler...''  
''He'll get over it...''

Young Fowl shook his head.

''He'll never forgive me...''

Holly forced him to look at her straight in the eyes.

''You don't have to be forgiven about anything'', she said.  
''I lied to him !'' Artemis retorted in a trembling voice. ''For twelve years, I lied to him. What kind of a friend am I, to do this ?''  
''Artemis, did you really have the choice ?'' Holly asked after a short while. ''It's not _your_ fault if you died, is it ?''

That was too much for Minerva, who snapped :

''_Mais enfin !_'' the French girl shouted, ''It doesn't have any sense ! Any !''

Artemis gave her a weak contrite smile.

''I perfectly understand it may seem crazy, but that's the truth. I first died in 1997, then a second time just now.''  
''But then, what are you ? A ghost ?!'' Minerva said, infuriated.  
''Not exactly. A ghost is immaterial, whereas I have... obtained the right to get my carnal envelope back.''  
''A living dead then ?'' Foaly interrupted.  
''You're already getting closer to the truth'', Artemis answered. Technically, I am indeed somewhere between life and death. That being said, due to the reputation of retarded brain eaters George Romero contributed to give to the term ''living dead'', we prefer that of Inbetween.''  
''Inbetween ?'' Holly, Minerva and Foaly repeated.  
''Exactly. Sounds great, doesn't it ? I coined it myself.''

The four occupants of the room jumped. On the threshold, Lagartija Nick, his whip rolled up on his shoulder, gave them a big smile. Artemis grew pale.

''Hi everyone !'' Nick joyfully let out. ''Hope I'm not interrupting ?''  
''Who let you in ?'' Foaly growled. ''The security cleared you out ?''

Nick laughed softly at the thought.

''Very few people welcome me with open arms'', he answered in a smooth voice, ''but no one can keep me from coming in. As for their getting out alive, it's another story.''

Without giving the scientist centaur the chance to retort, he banged the door behind him and stepped forward to the bed.

''So Artemis, how's life going ?'' he asked.

Young Fowl only returned a defying stare. Nick frowned as he noticed the gaping hole in the Irish boy's chest, then his face lit up when he drew the link.

''Seriously, Lucky ?!'' he dropped, hilarious. ''I've been told you haven't done your homework correctly, but that much! Another ''wrong spot, wrong time'' death ? You're planning to start a collection or what ?''

Foaly tried to impose himself again :

''What are you doing here, you twisted nut ?!''

Nick, ostensibly ignoring the centaur, turned to Holly and smiled out all his pointy teeth :

''And you must be the charming elf ! We were supposed to meet earlier, around three PM and a quarter, indeed, but the young man here didn't take the same view ! Whatever, I'm glad to meet you, miss H. Short. H for Helen ? Hedwige ?''  
''...But who the hell are you ?!'' Holly retorted, frankly ill-at-ease - yet, hard to feel at ease with a nearly-skeletal guy dressed in leather with a weirdly misshapen face bent towards you with his canines out.

To the elf's greatest uncomfort, her question only widdened the guy's smile.

''My name is Lagartija Nick'', he said, slightly raising his black derby hat. ''It's probably not very evocating for you, as most of the Livings know me under my various nicknames...''

Foaly caught Nick by his strange studded black leather tight-fitting straitjacket and easily nailed him to the wall, Nick's rickety body light as a bag of feathers.

''_What are you doing here ?!_'' the centaur repeated, hitting the ground with his hoof.  
''_Foaly, let him go, quick !_'' Artemis shouted, briskly straightening up.

The scientist centaur turned towards young Fowl, surprised.

''You know hi...''

Lagartija Nick put his gloved hand on Foaly's face, cutting him short. Thrusting his long fingers in the centaur's cheeks and eyes, he raised him up off the ground, his own face suddenly much less smiling congested with cold hatred. Artemis, who had managed to get off the bed, tried to intervene, but Nick threw him back on the matress with a single hand.

''So, Honey-Poney ?'' he said, his voice vibrating in barely contained anger, ''have you never been told not to defy Death ?''  
''Nick, stop !'' Artemis exclaimed as he laboriously tried to stand up, a hand on his wound which started burning. ''Stop !''  
''And the magic word, snotty, would it tear off your tongue ?''  
''_Please !_''

Foaly crushed on the ground like a rag doll, his eyes red and his breathing jerky. Nick negligently brushed his gloved hand on the pillow, staring scornfully at the centaur behind his round tinted glasses.

''Touch me again, and I'll kill you, deadline or not'', he dropped coldly. ''That's alright, I've seen enough for today. Artemis, we're off.''

Young Fowl bit his lip. Holly and Minerva, who had rushed to the centaur as soon as Nick had dropped him, raised their heads towards their friend, stupefied. Nick turned his head too, his thick eyebrows raising above his glasses.

''Artemis ?'' he said in a falsely interrogating tone. ''I said, we're off.''  
''Artemis !'' Holly exclaimed. ''You are going to follow him ?! Artemis !''

He didn't answer, shaking so heavily his teeth were clattering. His eyelids flickering, he gave a last, desperate long stare at his friends before standing up. Nick stretched his arm towards him. Artemis hesitated and opened his mouth to talk, but Nick coughed ostensibly and the Irish boy lowered his head. He stepped forwards, letting Nick's arm wrap around him and guide him to the door. Minerva and Holly stared gaping at the scene, so incredulous they didn't even think about stopping them. Only when Nick had closed the door did they were release from their hypnotic state. Holly rushed to the door and darted away in the corridor, her heart beating at full speed. What exactly just happened ?! Why did Artemis follow this... that... without even a word of protest ?

Without caring if Minerva was following her, the elf ran lightning-fast through the corridor and almost rolled down the stairs. When she arrived in the waiting room, the hospital's main door was closing, and Butler was lying on the floor, half-unconscious. By the time Holly got to him, he had got up on his elbows and was crawling to the door, his eyes hallucinated.

''Artemis...'' he mumbled. ''Artemis, where are you going ? Artemis ! _Artemis !_''

Holly hesitated wondering whether she should help the bodyguard , but the hurried footsteps in her back ensured her Minerva would take care of him, and the LEP officer dashed to the main door. She stopped on the sidewalk, turning her head to all the avenue's exits, but no single trace of Artemis nor Lagartija Nick. Feeling nauseous for having run so fast, Holly collapsed on her knees and let herself fall on her elbows, struggling to catch her breath back. The sneering picture of Lagartija Nick dancing in front of her eyes made her rageously hit the asphalt. So that was what Death looked like ? A degenerate sadomasochist ? Her fists clenched, Holly stood up and went back to the hospital.

« _I don't care whether you're the Grim Reaper of a simple sociopath, Nick, I'll find you and I'll make you regret any single harm you may have done to Artemis _», she swore silently to herself.

In the waiting room, a little crowd of nurses and paramedic warlocks had gathered around Butler, attracted by the noise. Holly pushed them back unceremoniously, clearing herself a path to the Eurasian. Calmed down, he was sitting on the floor, Minerva squatting by his side holding his left hand while he rubbed his temple with his right one.

''Butler, are you alright ?'' Holly asked though she could guess the answer.

The Eurasian didn't even raise his eyes to her.

''That... man... I didn't even see him come in... He took Artemis... Who was he ?''  
''As improbable as it might seem, Death itself paid us a little visit.''

Everybody turned to Foaly who was hobbling along, leaning on the wall to prevent himself from falling.

''I'm fine, I'm fine'', he grumbled towards the nurses who had rushed to his side. All of you, clear off ! We're on a crisis situation and we don't need indiscreet pointy ears to quote everything we say on Twitter !'', he whinnied harshly as the nurses hesitated. ''He jutted out of the room, and after he almost killed me he left with Artemis'', the scientist added towards Butler when all the medical staff was out of earshot.

The Eurasian couldn't believe his own ears.

''But he... he forced him to ?''  
''I don't know'', Holly answered. ''Artemis followed him without any resistance, but it's so unlike him ! Lagartija Nick must have put him under some kind of mesmering influence, I can't see any other explanation.''

Butler breathed in deeply and stood up. It was highly tempting to let go again, but it was because he was drowning into despair that he hadn't been able to prevent Nick from kidnapping his principal. Although the latter was dead, he still needed protection, and it wasn't by sitting with arms crossed that Butler was going to find him back.

''Any idea about where they may have gone ?'' he asked.  
''None'', Holly sighed, shaking her head.  
''Not so sure'', Minerva said, walking towards the main desk.

They all turned their surprised faces to her. Seizing a pen and a paper, the young girl closed her eyes, seeming to summon a memory, while tapping the wood of the desk with the tips of her fingers. Eventually, she opened her eyes and started writing at top speed. With Butler helping the centaur and Holly in front of them, they approached the young French girl, wondering about her mental sanity. Minerva lifted the pen for a second, considering what she had already written, then resumed her writing, triumphantly.

''That's just what I thought'', she said smiling. ''He left us a message...''  
''... Who ?'' her three friends asked without much conviction.  
''_Bah_, Artemis !'' Minerva replied. ''Do you remember, Holly, when he looked at us and winked ?''  
''Yes, of course'', the fairy retorted, ''But what is it suppos...''

Her face suddenly lit up.

''Morse code !''

Minerva put the pen down.

''Exactly. He went a bit fast, I may have misinterpreted a letter or two, but I think he gave us indications to find him.''

She took the paper in her hands, and they all bent. After a short time of deciphering, they exchanged a discomfited glance.

''Er, sorry, Minerva'', Foaly said, ''but what is _''VO SUNHISE ALDHAPE STREET LONDON''_ supposed to mean ?''

**NEAR THE SHUTTLE TERMINAL, HAVEN-CITY, UNDERGROUND WORLD**

At the surface, it was about five p.m, but fairies being nocturnal creatures, Haven-City inhabitants were sleeping soundly, and Artemis and Nick didn't meet anyone during their hurried walk towards the shuttle terminal serving the surface. Artemis was trying hard to master the anxiety constricting his throat, hoping that Minerva had been able to understand his message. She was a clever girl, Artemis had no doubt she had guessed he was using morse code, but in his panic he had winked too fast, and probably mixed up some letters. Nick pushed him brutally, and Artemis speeded up. Himself had not the faintest idea where Nick might be taking him to, but Sunshine would probably know. He hoped so, anyway. Otherwise, his situation was even worse than it already looked.

Finally, the two of them arrived at the shuttle terminal, closed at this time. Holding the Irish boy close against him, Nick _went through _the door like a hologram, and headed towards the station. Artemis hesitated to ask where they were going, but Nick was visibly annoyed, and when Death was in that state it was as wise to address him as to punch a starving shark's nose. Thus Artemis remained silent as they boarded one of the shuttles left over on the tracks. Nick left the young Inbetween on a seat and headed to the cockpit. A few minutes later, the shuttle was silently gliding on the tracks before taking off to the surface in autopilot mode, and Artemis had made his decision. The most definitive he had ever made, and was going to change irremediably his afterlife. Not guessing anything, Lagartija Nick reappeared in the passengers' airlock and sat next to Artemis. The first ten minutes of the trip went by in silence, when suddenly Nick bent towards Artemis and tenderly stroked his cheek.

''Artemis, Artemis, if you knew how afraid I've been for you...''

* * *

_Big up to my mother who helped me translating this chapter :D  
As I haven't totally finished it in French yet, I can't tell when the fifth chapter will be out. I'll do my best for it to be soon, promise !_

_Hope you enjoyed the chapter ! The action won't be more longer to really kick off now ! Don't hesitate to write a little review ! :)_


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